I come from a family of alcoholics. Sarah, my first cousin, was the last to die from complications related to alcoholism, at the age of 41. Before her, seven people in our extended family, including her father, my father and our grandfather, died from alcohol-related problems. One Thanksgiving, my grandfather passed out, drunk on his gravy and mashed potatoes. My cousins regularly had to usher their father out the front door after Christmas dinner. My father spent New Year’s Eve in rehab.
My family’s drunkenness was so incredibly sad that my college boyfriend wrote an episode of “Twilight Zone” about my father called “Kentucky Rye.” In the series, the main character kills someone while driving drunk and is punished by spending the afterlife in the prison of his own tavern. When my father was 32, he killed someone while driving drunk back to his own tavern.
Everyone knows someone who drinks to excess, especially with 29 million In the United States, alcoholics often gather for parties with at least one person present who “has a few” before arriving. They have trouble talking at the table or fall asleep early in the recliner. Maybe their drinking problem is whispered about in the kitchen while someone is carving the turkey or making the pumpkin pie. Their behavior is accepted, and perhaps even expected, in our culture. The United States ranks fifth in the countries with the highest rate of alcohol use disorders behind Latvia, Belarus, Russia and Hungary.
In the United States, the number of people addicted to alcohol is 14 times higher than the number of people addicted to opioids. Each year, more than twice as many people die from excessive alcohol use than from opioids. Why doesn’t alcoholism in our country get more attention?
In 2021, the online site 24/7 Wall St. conducted a report on “The 50 Drunkest Counties in America.” Wisconsin, where I grew up, claimed 41 of the spots in that survey. My home county, Manitowoc, boasts a binge drinking rate of 28.4 percent of the population, on the 10th highest in the United States
I’m not an angel. When I was young, I drove drunk and danced drunk in a bar. But I escaped Manitowoc. Not my family. Dad’s straitjacket couldn’t hold him as he screamed at the purple spiders crawling up his legs as he suffered delirium tremens. Mom developed Korsakoff syndrome from alcohol withdrawal and lost her short-term memory. My childhood friend died in a motorcycle accident after a day of drinking.
Alcoholism has a genetic component, but with early awareness and prevention it is possible to stop it. Why not us?
American alcoholism is celebrated. Drunk behavior is ingrained in our society. Maybe we’re stuck in the fantasy of the “good times” presented in alcohol advertising and can’t care about the slow, invisible deaths that happen off-screen. When we make fun of the person who is always drunk at the Christmas party, we turn our backs on the emotional pain of their loving family of the person who is slowly committing suicide.
Alcohol-related deaths are increasing, but at the same time there is a growing trend to drink less, if at all. The sober-curious and Dry January movements support the 41% of Americans who planned to drink less in 2024 to improve their mental, financial and physical health, as reported by marketing data firm NCSolutions. This number could increase due to recent research this shows a strong link to cancer linked to drinking three or more alcoholic beverages per day.
Like other addictions, alcoholism affects families. Children of alcoholics enter adulthood damaged, not launched; they figure out for themselves how to land safely. Some don’t make it. A study published in 2012 in the medical journal Dcarpet and alcohol review found that 33% to 40% of children Children affected by parental alcohol problems develop a substance-related disorder themselves.
Both my parents were drunk. (A recovering alcoholic told me that “people who go to AA meetings are alcoholics. If you don’t go to meetings, you’re drunk.”) In early adulthood, the repercussions of Being a child alcoholic attacked my mental health. , but I escaped the cycle by moving away, getting an education, entering therapy, and finding a new definition of family. I’ve dug hard to get out but I can never fully escape. My life expectancy as the child of an alcoholic is always inferior to that of a child born to parents who loved him more than alcohol.
I am not advocating a ban. But what if we opened our eyes to the prevalence of alcoholism in our country and the costs it takes for children growing up in alcoholic families? Increased funding for research, increased awareness of alcohol-related risks and more resources for people with alcohol use problems and their children would help families physically, financially and emotionally. The annual economic cost of alcoholism to the United States is in the hundreds of dollars. billions of dollars.
On average, Americans drink 27% more from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve compared to the rest of the year, according to the American Psychological Association. If we continue to ignore loved ones who drink excessively, we are complicit in the diminished quality of life of alcohol users and the harm caused to their families. Maybe your family.
If the volatility, rage and sadness of the Christmas dinner scene from the FX series “The Bear” sounds familiar to you — spoiler alert, the drunk mother drives the car through the house — someone in your family might have a alcohol problem.
A nice gift for the holidays could be to remedy this.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, help is available by calling 1-800-662-HELP.
Jane Hillstrom is a former public relations executive. She writes literary nonfiction and is completing a memoir about her childhood in a tavern.
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