The perfect pub probably doesn’t exist. Sure, there might be that gorgeous vermilion carpet and plush leather banquettes, but the music is still a little too loud. Or maybe the food is perfect, but the pub’s spartan interior leaves you cold.
In 1946, George Orwell wrote his essay “The Moon Under Water”, in which he described his ideal inn. Although some of its requirements seem bizarre today (bartenders had to be middle-aged women; beer had to be served in a container with a handle; the pub had to sell aspirin), most of them were quite sensible – indeed, JD Wetherspoon founder Tim Martin named a number of pubs (13 at one point) after Orwell’s fictional nirvana.
Few have the resources of Martin. But a growing number of pub-goers have built their own pint paradise in the sheds, cellars and garages of their houses. And with no money exchanged, no license is needed. What motivates someone to build their own bar? Do they even get used to it once the novelty wears off? And will you ever be able to replicate the experience of sitting down, four pints of water, in reality?
The desire to stand in a pub bar is “kind of indelible” to our nature, says Ciaran O’Shea, owner of The Bloody Finger in Southend-on-Sea, Essex. O’Shea’s pub was born during lockdown, when he and his family realized how much they missed going to their local. “We were all striving to recreate a kind of pub utopia, drawn from our own experiences in London and Ireland.”
In a brick outbuilding of their family home, each member of the family took on specific tasks. His sister drew the plans; his brothers and brother-in-law did all the carpentry (a particular accident with a saw gave the pub its name); while O’Shea himself took care of the odds and ends: “the foreign notes hanging on the wall, the collection of beer coasters, the framed fisherman’s knots — and, of course, a beautiful photo by Michael Collins. They salvaged where they could, including a wooden partition from the now-closed Ship pub in Leigh-on-Sea. The Bloody Finger has been fully operational for three years.
Being stuck at home acted as a catalyst for many homeowners who suddenly found themselves with some money saved and a strong desire to get rid of moss. And now, with the costs of operating licensed pubs increasing, the choice of places to go out is also decreasing. Property intelligence company Altus found that in the first half of 2024, 50 pubs per month were closing permanently in England and Wales.
Two Fat Blokes, a pub sign company based in the West Midlands, offers hundreds of customizable designs. It organizes the Pub Shed of the Year competition: in 2021, it received 400 applications, compared to 1,128 this year. The winner, The Winchester in Hampshire, is an impressive recreation of a carpeted Edwardian pub, complete with darts board, poker table and copper draw taps. Although the Facebook groups are probably not representative of the number of pub sheds there are in the UK, there is huge interest in them: the unimaginatively named ‘Pub Sheds’ has 45,000 members, while ‘Garden Sheds, Pubs and Nightclubs UK” has 278,000.
Joe White, who runs The White Fox in Chineham, Hampshire, decided in 2021 to install a bar in his double garage with the help of a carpenter friend. “The pub came into heavy use post-Covid,” he says, “but it’s still a regular venue for sporting events with friends and family. I go there several times a week and invite people to enjoy it every two weeks.
You don’t even necessarily need to own your home to build your own pub. Henry Williams, co-manager of The Bad Samaritan in Stepney Green, east London, alongside his three housemates, decided to email his landlord in 2022. “Long-held fears according to “The question for us was ‘what if this happened again?’ We needed to be prepared.
The house they rent has a garage filled with old shelves and half-empty paint cans. Williams asked if they could drill holes in the wall. “The owner’s response was a confused ‘of course’.” A bar, a fruit machine and lots of beer mats arrived. “Apart from a few things that had to be screwed in, like the dartboard, the rest is just cosmetic.”
Williams’ lease ends next April and they will have to dial back final orders on The Bad Samaritan. Since most of it can be stored away, the owner should not notice it. But what happens when the owner of a more permanent pub – complete with a fixed bar and pumps – decides to sell it?
Liam Hennessy always knew he wanted to have his own booze. When he and his partner decided to look for a new home, one of their conditions was that there be space for a bar large enough to accommodate a pool table. “By what seemed like fate, we came across a house in Ferndown, Dorset, which not only had space but already had a bar with a pool table,” he says. “We knew this had to be our new home.”
Hennessy named the pub Johnny’s Bar, in honor of his late father, and added “sporting and cinema memorabilia to the walls to add character”. He sourced bar furniture from an industry supplier and added a piano so his son could practice away from home, which, he says, gives him “the feeling of an old East End bar – perfect for singing after a fun afternoon’. Hennessy doesn’t even visit his house anymore: “I can pour myself a pint for less than £2; it costs around £6 just down the road.
Hennessy estimates that the previous owner spent £18,000 on the main structure, compared with around £5,000 in the four years he owned it. “But I am convinced that we have spent a lot more on barrels over the years than on the building itself.”
“Pubs are beautiful and unique community spaces,” says O’Shea, “where people of all ages come together, talk and share stories, sing and drink, laugh and cry.” If licensed pubs serve as hubs for the local community, then the home pub is that intensified idea for a tight-knit group where there are no strangers, just friends and family. “Where else do you have people getting together like this?” O’Shea asked. “My advice, build a bloody pub. Everyone should build one at least once.
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