In last week’s post, I outlined the basics of my overall physical, emotional, and mental health: a daily routine. This is a rough program based on how my energy tends to flow. This energy is directly linked to my physical and mental health. I’ve been tweaking it since last fall and it’s become strong and consistent enough to resist the curse of boredom – that’s when I usually give in to the urge to try something new or completely abandon the routine. The newness of the new will always be my siren song.
Anyway.
Today I want to discuss my wellness habits in more detail, putting flexibility at the forefront. Again, none of this is new, none of this is revolutionary. What is new and revolutionary (for me) is reason Why I prioritize these habits over others.
Why I prioritize wellness habits
The reason these wellness habits have stuck is because I don’t do them to achieve a specific goal (like checking boxes every day). I do them because they make me feel better. Some days I can focus on one or two of these habits. Some days I do them all. Most of the time I’m at 70%. It’s not about the time spent or the intensity, it’s about staying consistent.
I do not give the same priority to each pillar of well-being. One is usually more dominant than the others in a given week, and this scale can tip in a different direction whenever I need it to. Most days are very varied. The pillars make it easier for me to ensure that I can continue life on my own terms and protect me from the cycle I know so well: depression and burnout.
It’s not about the time spent or the intensity, it’s about staying consistent.
A unique wellness plan for you
A note before we get into this: what feels good to me may not be what feels good to you. My definition of good might be different from yours. I highly recommend asking yourself what “feel good” means to you and building your routine and wellness pillars around that. There would be a lot less confusion around health and wellness if we prioritized listening to our inner intuition and body signals over someone else’s routine. Your body, your choice.
That said: These are my four pillars of wellness and examples of how they show up in my life.
My pillars of personal well-being in 2024
1. Sleep and rest
This pillar is number one for a reason. Without it, I’m toast. I like to think of rest as an activity instead of thinking of it as doing nothing. Prioritizing rest is a gift to me! For me, this pillar is not just limited to resting my body; this concerns any habit that helps you surpass yourself. Below is a list of what I do to fill my cup.
Well-being habits related to sleep and rest
- I sleep at least seven hours a night.
- I try to wait at least an hour in the morning before having coffee. (It’s hard and I often fail!)
- I limit caffeine during the day, which helps me sleep better at night.
- I practice mindfulness when I’m overwhelmed.
- I work in twenty-five minute sprints with five minute breaks in between. (It’s called the Pomodoro technique! More information here.)
- I write things down instead of trying to keep everything in my head.
- I don’t drink outside of social occasions.
- I keep a calendar and notebook next to my bed to capture anything I might need to remember tomorrow.
- I don’t use my phone before bed (or before breakfast most days).
- I rarely watch TV before bed.
2. Fuel
This pillar includes eating meals that do my body good as well as things that nourish my mind: what I read, movies I watch, and entertainment that keeps me full. I have found that I get the most out of my “fuel” activities whether I am alone or with my family (a true introvert). This includes activities that sometimes overlap with work, but the very important distinction is that these activities make me feel energized and fulfilled, not exhausted and burned out. The list below is a bingo card of things that give me energy. To me, fuel might look like any of the following.
Well-being habits that nourish and energize me
- Cook a nourishing meal
- Being outside
- Prioritizing healthy fats, protein, leafy greens, fruits and vegetables in my meal plans
- Eat dark chocolate
- Read cookbooks
- Listen to music
- Reading a book in my favorite chair
- Watch a movie on my “to watch” list
- Browse ANNOUNCEMENT magazines and coffee table books
- Take a MasterClass
- Organize my spaces
- Declutter my house
- I hug my kids and Joe
- Meditate
3. Activity
The next pillar concerns the activities that I prioritize. Many of these examples build confidence and resilience because I am not “comfortable” during the process. I do them to challenge myself, and almost always I feel better that way. These are my “do it” activities, the ones I don’t always want to do but never regret afterwards.
Wellness habits that prioritize activity
- Do Pilates, whether in a reformer class or at home
- Go for a long run or walk
- Play tennis
- Working on business plans
- Posting on social media
- Increase personal finance awareness
- By writing
- Design
- Gardening
- Learn a skill that doesn’t come naturally to me (e.g. speaking French, playing guitar)
- Socialize with a large group of friends
- Organize big dinners
- Take the kids on an adventure
- Having a game night with my family
- Cooking with children
- Plan trips and travel
I try to juggle these three pillars, knowing that there will never be a “perfect” balance. There are seasons where sleep and rest are a higher priority and others where I’m in a state of flow and working later or more often than usual. There are seasons when it is imperative to move beyond discomfort. The pillars are here (like my daily routine) to serve as a guide and support my energy.
Note: During a long period of over-prioritizing self-care, I discovered that feeling like I was challenging myself was as important to my mental health as sleep and rest. It may not be the same for you. But it’s worth thinking about if you find yourself stuck in a state of apathy.
And speaking of energy, the last pillar is…
4. Limits
Boundaries don’t come naturally to me. I want to say yes to everything. I love a full plate. Feeling like what I do matters to someone else fulfills me. I love my friends and family and I want to give everything I can to connect with them. But we can’t do all things, especially not all at the same time. For this reason, I always come back to consider my energy: what fills my cup and what depletes it.
It is in this pillar that I learn the most these days. It’s uncomfortable to set strict boundaries when part of me wants to go to that show or take on that extra project that I know I can’t fully commit to. What has helped me is making a list of what exhausts me. Then, if I can see a connection between what I want to commit to and how I know I will feel afterwards, it’s a simple “no.”
The things that exhaust me
- Ambiguous projects with ambiguous deadlines
- Unpaid work
- Gossip
- General negativity and helplessness
- Being surrounded by people who catastrophize
- Black and white thinking
- Multitasking
- Social media comment sections
- Doom Scroll
- Virtue signaling
- Rumination and worry
- Self-help as a way to repair yourself
I hope reading about my wellness habits and pillars has been intriguing to say the least, even if yours are very different from mine. Next week I’m going to write about the changes I’ve made to my journaling and personal growth habits. This is the area of my life that has changed the most so far in 2024.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning to play tennis and it’s forever test the limits of your creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.