Social-emotional learning (SEL) has become a priority in many schools’ strategic plans. Fortunately, there is a long list of publications, articles and research that describe the importance of SEL and the positive impact it can have on student development. Knowing this, teachers try to incorporate these lessons into their morning meetings, projects, special classes, birthday parties, snacks, and lunch times. They attempt to adapt to both discover and create space for SEL, but SEL requires more time and consistency, with a strong emphasis on time.
As an early childhood counselor and educator, I work with children in their early years of development and the families who care for them. Knowing that SEL is valuable and requires time, my school chose to allow me and my colleagues to stay with the same number of children for five years, which is a rare opportunity for counselors and teachers. educators in this field. Meanwhile, it takes about two years for students to understand my role as a “feelings teacher”. They ask me: “Who are you and what are you doing here?” to tell me about their feelings as soon as I enter their class. When they arrive at kindergarten, they are perfectly used to my presence. Some of them introduce me to caregivers I haven’t yet met, while others greet me with a hug as I enter the building, alone or hand-in-hand with friends. They have grown physically, but also emotionally, because they are able to notice and manage their emotions more easily.
As I learned these foundational skills with my students, my school also gave me ample time to create the expectation that students discuss their identities as a valuable part of the SEL curriculum. My teachers and administrators understand that this is imperative to the work I do to create systemic change and build relationships with my students in which they can feel comfortable discussing identity in an authentic, holistic and vulnerable. The time I was given to integrate identity into SEL allowed me to explore, experiment, and most importantly, give my students new tools to navigate the world and their identities and grow and mature in their learning.
Putting identity first
In his book “Finding joy“, author Gholdy Muhammad talks about the importance and impact of taking the time to know your students deeply. Specifically, Muhammad says, “It is important to get to know children in an authentic, loving, and meaningful to know who they are, who they are not, and who they are destined to become on this earth” I have learned that it is important to center identity as I learn more about my students. .Recognizing and affirming their identity creates opportunities to teach SEL on a deeper, more impactful level.
Although I work in a predominantly white institution, I strive to improve the experience of every child in the world while recognizing the role of bias, racism, and oppression in our schools. My experiences over the years, when I have had time to work and collaborate with a diverse group of teachers, have taught me that teaching SEL without discussing these topics is often the easiest and most effective route. faster to follow, but it also creates more opportunities. For harm. Instead of settling for that, I challenge myself and my colleagues to lean into discomfort and expand our understanding of SEL. In doing so, I find joy in the incremental, marginal change we have created within our school, as it creates an opportunity for continued growth.
As I enter first grade with my students, I notice that everything I learned about them, they learned about me. They expect to hear my jokes and know that as Black womanmy hair will be different almost every time they see me. We have developed a cohesive, trusting relationship in which they are seen and valued holistically, and this is seen in their engagement in SEL classes and their ability to problem-solve and express themselves.
One day, during our fourth year together, I was preparing to read the book “What to do when faced with a problem?for my SEL lesson, and I started by asking, “What problems do you see in your world?” Students began talking about gun violence, robberies, and people being treated unfairly. When one student spoke, another would add to their idea and tell the story from their point of view. The students also spoke about their families in India experiencing the prejudice and effects of racism in America.
One child expressed deep concern that “blacks and whites would always fight.” This became the topic of conversation for a while until one of my students noticed that the injustices experienced by Asian Americans are rarely mentioned. He directly challenged me by telling me that we don’t talk about these things enough. Instead of reacting negatively or quickly moving on as we progressed through time, I listened, made time and space for the student to discuss their experience, and I respectfully validated as this conversation continued. I was unprepared for this conversation and asked my fellow teachers for help; they remained present during the conversation, which lasted 45 minutes. We never even read the book.
The true power of SALT
As I left this conversation, I felt a lot of emotions. Most of all, I was proud of them for being able to have such a dynamic and important conversation. Through their self-advocacy skills, they were able to express themselves and challenge me, centering the experiences that matter most to them and their families. As I learned about them over the years, I created a safe space where they knew their voice would be heard, valued, and amplified. I was able to get to know my students as they are as individuals, and they understood that not only did I know them, but I also had a relationship with their teachers, which created a village of care they could rely on when needed.
Giving SEL the time and space it deserves allows children to become more self-aware and more connected to their peers and adults in the school setting. This sense of safety helps create learning environments that encourage stimulating, expansive conversations and building a community that values and respects the identities of all students. Doing this while building consistent, real relationships with students creates the foundation for a uniquely safe educational environment. This creates opportunities for students to learn how to be better citizens to each other. When our students are regulated, able to think critically, and encouraged to speak out about the things that are important to them, educators can better manage students’ concerns while honoring the identities and feelings that accompany them.
SEL is and should always be part of our work as educators. However, to have a positive and lasting effect on our students’ lives and relationships, we must create environments in which more focused, intentional time is spent on SEL and understanding the role of identity.