As we welcome cooler weather, entertaining season is upon us. It kind of surprises me that I enjoy entertaining so much, as I tend to be a socially anxious person. I know from talking to others that sometimes people can be nervous about hosting because there are so many things that could “go wrong.” If you’re feeling nervous about hosting a dinner party in your space, I encourage you to reframe your approach. Consider providing an opportunity to be creative and be with the people you love.
Having hosted so many times over the years, I have developed my own checklist of things that take every occasion to the next level.
I share my tips and tricks for hosting a dinner party – one that everyone at the table will enjoy – whether you’re a seasoned host or just testing the waters.
The 7 Things I Do Every Time I Host a Dinner Party
1. Consider the guest list.
In many cases, the guest list – and how I want to connect with a given group – dictates the type of party I will throw. When I have a group of close friends over, I tend to keep the evening casual, maybe cooking a few dishes together and sharing responsibilities. If I was hosting in-laws for the first time, I might make the menu more formal and make a celebratory drink like champagne.
When I’m scheduling the occasion, I also find it helpful to think about what will work best for the people I’m inviting. For example, people with children may want to meet later in the evening (or earlier, it depends!). I think about the phases of each person’s life so that they can better enjoy the time they spend with me.
2. Set the menu.
The menu I set varies greatly depending on the guest list and the overall mood of the evening, but I have a few guidelines to follow.
- I generally don’t cook new things (unless it’s cooking book club).
- I try to choose simple dishes that, if necessary, could go in the oven without overcooking or arrive at the table a little cold without sacrificing quality.
- Most of the time, I try to reduce the number of dishes I prepare. A pot of soupa salad and a good loaf of bread are more than enough reason to entertain people.
- I determine the order of drinks in advance, which usually includes a few varieties of wine and possibly a specialty cocktail. If I need help deciding on pairings, I ask the staff to Thomas Liqueurs for their suggestions!
3. Prepare in advance.
I think about how I would like the evening to go and start preparing a few days in advance. I write a list of everything that needs to be done, planned by day and hour (for example, what needs to happen two days before, the day before, the same day, the hour before). The list includes shopping at different stores, cleaning, setting the table, preparing ingredients, cooking dishes, etc. This kind of foresight is the only way I can juggle (and delegate if necessary) all the hosting tasks while still keeping up with daily life.
4. Play with the table setup.
I often set the table the day before my host. This gives me the opportunity to play with different placemats, table linens, tableware and dishes until I arrive at the combination that suits me.
5. Set the mood with sensory elements.
Sensory elements are key to making a dinner special. Here are a few touches I always implement:
- I only turn on pendant lights or dimmable lamps (this lamp from Schoolhouse is a favorite) – never bright ceiling lights.
- I have a candle placed in the entryway to greet people as they enter – ideally something that pairs well with the smell of the food. My appointment is Maison Louis Marie Candle N°04.
- I freshen up the nearest bathroom with fresh towels, a flower in a bud vase, and a candle.
- I create a playlist! Music is a must.
6. Give (some) guests work.
I like to think ahead of time about a few tasks that I might need help with once guests arrive (e.g. finishing setting the table, putting garnishes on a dish, making cocktails). Inevitably, there will be at least one person who would rather help finish than sit idle. It’s easy to keep them busy with something if I already have a list in mind.
7. Direct the flow of the evening.
I generally like to host a progressive party, which takes place between a few venues over the course of the evening. People look to the host for clues at dinner parties, and I’ll let everyone know when it’s time to act. We usually start with a cocktail in the kitchen while I refine the food, although sometimes the evening begins with drinks in a more formal space. We will move to the dining table for dinner, then have coffee and dessert seated around the coffee table in the Peach Room.
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Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning to play tennis and it’s forever test the limits of your creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
