How would you define the feeling of being stuck in a rut? For me, it’s when I can’t imagine doing, or even thinking about doing, a single thing. My to-do list, while full of tasks I often enjoy, seems daunting. And even if I don’t do anything, I feel like I’m doing it All. The list of things I think I should do runs through my head until I’m exhausted, haven’t accomplished anything, and somehow feel worse.
A rut is officially defined as “a habit or pattern of behavior that has become boring and unproductive but difficult to change”, but I think the concept extends beyond that. Ruts can come in all shapes and sizes: an afternoon of writer’s block, a period of mid-career change wondering “who am I and what matters to me?” ” or a few days where, no matter the weather, you just can’t bring yourself to leave your house.
I like to think – and please don’t argue if you know better – that we all feel stuck in a rut sometimes. Although the same old principle is often comforting, sometimes a switch flips and you feel exhausted by the mundane. It’s hard to find balance, especially when it’s often easier to just suffer.
But there are solutions!
Last fall I bought an orchid. Unfortunately, this was not the first orchid I purchased. The first one, which I had come into possession of years earlier, quickly lost its flowers and was disposed of, although I thought I was doing a good job caring for it. That’s life!
After a month or two of admiring the elegant petals of orchid number two, the flowers began to fall again, one after the other. Aside from the wrinkled flowers, the plant looked pretty healthy and I, for one, knew I was doing everything I was supposed to do when it came to plant care.
Although there is no miracle cure to get out of a difficult situation, there are ways to take care of yourself and gently get back above the ground.
So I did my research, read the discussions on orchid fanatics and came to an interesting conclusion: this was a normal process in the life of my beautiful plant. Dormancy periods are normal. Flowering would return. I just had to be patient…and keep watering.
Although there is no miracle cure to get out of a difficult situation, there are ways to take care of yourself and gently get back above the ground.
Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things to do when you feel stuck in a rut.
The most important thing, in my opinion? Remember, this won’t last forever. THE flourishing will come back.
1. Make a list.
Sometimes it helps to just get the to-do list out of your head. Other list ideas: things you are grateful fordream guests or fun salad ingredients.
2. Revisit a source of inspiration.
What did you watch/read/listen to that inspired you at any given time? Revisit it!
3. Try something completely different.
A new food? A new musical genre? A new way back? If you have trouble thinking about something, here is a list of possibilities. Just make sure whatever you do is away from what you feel stuck on!
4. Take care of yourself.
This might mean asking your partner to pour you a cup of tea or taking a minute to do some stretches. Nothing big, just a touch of sweetness. (Plus the important things: adequate sleep, personal connections, good nutrition and hydration.)
5. Move your body.
A classic item on any self-help list for good reason! Get your blood flowing in a way that feels good. You don’t have to win a race; just take one step at a time.
6. Have compassion.
We all came here, remember? Give yourself a break.
7. Create something.
A new Pinterest board? A paper snowflake? The chorus of a song?
8. Think carefully.
Do you remember when the rut started? There may be issues at play that you haven’t yet resolved, such as an unsatisfying job or a lack of balance in your personal life.
9. Have fun.
Let your best friend take you away for the night. Watch a stupid movie. Showcase.
10. Talk to someone.
He I could be a therapistyour closest companion, or even a newspaper. Find a place or person where you feel comfortable expressing your feelings. As frivolous as they may seem, they are valid.
11. Get out.
Wild how connection with nature It can sometimes bring you back to yourself, huh? Sit near the trees and see what thoughts cross your mind.
12. Reward yourself.
Did you make even a little progress today? Or make plans? GOOD. Treat yourself to something you fully enjoy.
13. Take small steps.
Sometimes it can seem like the only way to do something is to do something big. It is not the case! If you’re having trouble writing, start with a short journal entry or quick social media caption.
14. Daydream.
When was the last time you sat by the window and let your thoughts drift? Give yourself permission to think absolutely nothing.
15. Let it happen.
Sometimes periods of rest are necessary to reflect on lessons learned or wait for something extraordinary to come to fruition. If you need a break, honor it.
16. Give yourself the help you need.
Sometimes a rut is just a rut, but sometimes it’s something deeper than just a feeling of being stuck. If you think you might be depressed, know that help will be different than just creating a vision board and waiting. Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional, talk to your loved ones, and remember that the same main belief applies: it won’t be forever. (Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult now.)
Sophie Vilensky (@sophiavilensky on Instagram and Twitter or if you met her in sophomore year) is a Real Housewives student and the daughter of a naturopath. At present, these things are very important to her.
